As my wife and I were speaking to a group of 6-8 grade students about our own racial journey, I made the comment that some of you may have heard this statement from a friend or family member, “you know how white people are.” When I said this, about a third of the audience shook their heads yes; many of them muttered to themselves and one another; and I heard one kid say “My mom says that.” Why do we say things like that when they’re not true; or are they?

Maybe we say them because it’s a neat package, it helps us to frame the complex world into a tidier statement.

My wife, Italian/Irish-American, and I, African-American, have heard all sorts of comments from friends and relatives: “you know how they are,” “that neighborhood is changing,” “why are they so angry,” “they always (fill in the blank).” What is still being passed on to too many of our children is the bitterness, ignorance and hatred that generations have fed on.

Hopefully, you live, work or worship in a community were the them is becoming us. If our children can’t see hospitality (love of strangers) modeled in our personal lives, all the neat, cute, even religious phrases won’t add up to much.